Ask a Planner: Battle of the Fathers

Q: I grew up with my step father who I love dearly, but my biological father has always been involved in my life. I would like to honor them both at the wedding but I’m not sure how to do it without making one of them feel bad. What do you suggest?

A: I think it’s great that you want to honor both fathers since they have played significant roles in your life. I also think that you should keep your father and step father abreast on which decision you ultimately decide on because communication is best in these type of family situations. Usually you find that people are willing to comply and respect the relationship you have with the other person. Here are some ideas:

You can have one father walk you down the aisle and dance with the other father at the reception. If you feel like this is too hard to split up between the two, you can divide the same task between the two. Have your step father start off walking you down the aisle while your father waits for you in the middle. Then your stepfather can hand you off to him and you can complete your walk.

For the father and daughter dance, you can dance with one father for half the song and the other father for the second half. Another possibility is to choose two songs that have a special meaning for each father. Dance with one father in the beginning of the recpeption and the other father after the cake is cut.

Vanessa

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